diff --git a/src/uncategorized/saLongTermEffects.tw b/src/uncategorized/saLongTermEffects.tw
index b591db2cd5cdccb5fb39294db2386fd540476068..705941003ffb6fc22640f7bfe8dc775ee2bbf493 100644
--- a/src/uncategorized/saLongTermEffects.tw
+++ b/src/uncategorized/saLongTermEffects.tw
@@ -3646,7 +3646,7 @@
 					$He feels @@.lime;strange minor pains@@ in $his pelvis.
 					<<set $slaves[$i].hips += 1>>
 				<</if>>
-				<<if ($slaves[$i].butt < 4) && (random(1,100) < 10*_rearQuirk)>>
+				<<if ($slaves[$i].butt < 4) && (random(1,100) < 10*_rearQuirk))>>
 					$He feels a @@.lime;strange weight@@ on $his rear.
 					<<set $slaves[$i].butt += 1>>
 				<</if>>
@@ -6190,62 +6190,44 @@
 <<if $weightAffectsAssets != 0>>
 	<<if $slaves[$i].weight <= 10>>
 		<<if $slaves[$i].diet != "fattening">>
+			<<set _effBreastSize = ($slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk)>>
+			<<set _effButtSize = ($slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant)>>
+			<<if $slaves[$i].hormoneBalance > 30 && $slaves[$i].geneMods.NCS != 1>>		/* 'Expected' breast size based on weight for feminine-bodied slaves */
+				<<set _normBreasts = Math.trunc((100 + ($slaves[$i].weight + 100)*5 + 2*$slaves[$i].lactationAdaptation)*(0.85+$slaves[$i].hormoneBalance/400)*_gigantomastiaMod)>>
+				<<set _normButt = (($slaves[$i].weight + 100)*.025*(0.9+$slaves[$i].hormoneBalance/600)*(_rearQuirk/2 + 1))>>
+			<<else>>		/* For masculine- and childish-bodied slaves */
+				<<set _normBreasts = (($slaves[$i].weight + 100)*2 + $slaves[$i].lactationAdaptation)*_gigantomastiaMod>>
+				<<set _normButt = (($slaves[$i].weight + 100)*.0125*(_rearQuirk/2 + 1))>>
+			<</if>>
 			<<if $slaves[$i].weight < -95>>
-				<<if $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 750 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His desperately underweight body @@.orange;burns fat off $his plush boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 50/_gigantomastiaMod>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 3 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His desperately underweight body @@.orange;burns fat off $his plush butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.4>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 500 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His desperately underweight body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his healthy boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 25>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 2 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His desperately underweight body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his healthy butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.2>>
-				<</if>>
+				<<set _adj1 = "desperately underweight">>
+				<<set _adj2 = "plush">>
+				<<set _adj3 = "healthy">>
 			<<elseif $slaves[$i].weight <= -30>>
-				<<if $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 1000 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His underweight body @@.orange;burns fat off $his big boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 50/_gigantomastiaMod>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 4 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His underweight body @@.orange;burns fat off $his big butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.4>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 750 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His underweight body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his plush boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 25>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 3 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His underweight body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his plush butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.2>>
-				<</if>>
+				<<set _adj1 = "underweight">>
+				<<set _adj2 = "big">>
+				<<set _adj3 = "plush">>
 			<<elseif $slaves[$i].weight < -10>>
-				<<if $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 2000 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His skinny body @@.orange;burns fat off $his huge boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 50/_gigantomastiaMod>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 6 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His skinny body @@.orange;burns fat off $his huge butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.4>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 1000 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His skinny body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his big boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 25>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 4 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His skinny body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his big butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.2>>
-				<</if>>
+				<<set _adj1 = "skinny">>
+				<<set _adj2 = "huge">>
+				<<set _adj3 = "big">>
 			<<else>>
-				<<if $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 5000 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His thin body @@.orange;burns fat off $his monstrous boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 50/_gigantomastiaMod>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 8 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His thin body @@.orange;burns fat off $his monstrous butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.4>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].boobs-$slaves[$i].boobsImplant-$slaves[$i].boobsMilk > 2000 && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
-					$His thin body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his huge boobs.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 25>>
-				<<elseif $slaves[$i].butt-$slaves[$i].buttImplant > 6 && _rearQuirk != 2>>
-					$His thin body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his huge butt.@@
-					<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.2>>
-				<</if>>
+				<<set _adj1 = "thin">>
+				<<set _adj2 = "monstrous">>
+				<<set _adj3 = "huge">>
+			<</if>>
+			<<if _effBreastSize > (4*_normBreasts+400) && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
+				$His _adj1 body @@.orange;burns fat off $his _adj2 boobs.@@
+				<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 50/_gigantomastiaMod>>
+			<<elseif _effButtSize > (3*_normButt+3) && _rearQuirk != 2>>
+				$His _adj1 body @@.orange;burns fat off $his _adj2 butt.@@
+				<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.4>>
+			<<elseif _effBreastSize > (3*_normBreasts+200) && _gigantomastiaMod != 3>>
+				$His _adj1 body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his _adj3 boobs.@@
+				<<set $slaves[$i].boobs -= 25>>
+			<<elseif _effButtSize > (2*_normButt+2) && _rearQuirk != 2>>
+				$His _adj1 body @@.orange;burns some fat off $his _adj3 butt.@@
+				<<set $slaves[$i].butt -= 0.2>>
 			<</if>>
 		<</if>>
 	<</if>>