diff --git a/src/player/desc/playerBelly.js b/src/player/desc/playerBelly.js
index bc8d01e1c0e29cdb3c0df27c821289d7051bf5e9..ab532aca55547ac6f438cc28db0fcd09851d1122 100644
--- a/src/player/desc/playerBelly.js
+++ b/src/player/desc/playerBelly.js
@@ -1,13 +1,12 @@
 App.Desc.Player.belly = function() {
 	const r = [];
-	const passage = passage();
 	const children = V.PC.pregType > 1 ? "children" : "child";
 	let fertRefresh;
 	let toSearch;
 	let babyDaddy;
 	let adjust;
 
-	if (passage === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
+	if (passage() === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
 		if (V.PC.preg > 0) {
 			if (V.PC.belly >= 120000) {
 				r.push(`<span class="red">Your belly is coated with stretch marks and is taut as a drum; you don't know how much more your poor womb can endure.</span> You can barely even leave your bed without a helping hand. Kicks can almost constantly be seen dotting its surface. You give it a pat for good measure, only encouraging your ${pregNumberName(V.PC.pregType, 2)}`);
@@ -68,7 +67,7 @@ App.Desc.Player.belly = function() {
 		} else if (V.PC.belly >= 100) {
 			r.push(`Your belly is still slightly swollen after your recent pregnancy.`);
 		}
-	} else if (passage === "Economics") {
+	} else if (passage() === "Economics") {
 		if (V.PC.career === "servant") {
 			if (V.PC.preg > 0) {
 				if (V.PC.belly >= 120000) {
@@ -513,7 +512,7 @@ App.Desc.Player.belly = function() {
 				}
 			}
 		}
-	} else if (passage === "Analyze PC Pregnancy") {
+	} else if (passage() === "Analyze PC Pregnancy") {
 		if (V.PC.belly >= 120000) {
 			r.push(`You shudder at the cool touch of the sensor running along the curve of your sensitive pregnancy. While you've devised a way to scan the distant peak of your navel and the depths of your underbelly, you failed to take into account just how excited your`);
 			if (V.PC.pregType > 1) {
diff --git a/src/player/desc/playerBoobs.js b/src/player/desc/playerBoobs.js
index d7250ed363ab903e8f91721f1eb901d511cf2c55..bd3196f6611499b756792c6a5fa5478ae47a0215 100644
--- a/src/player/desc/playerBoobs.js
+++ b/src/player/desc/playerBoobs.js
@@ -1,9 +1,8 @@
 App.Desc.Player.boobs = function() {
 	const r = [];
 	let frag;
-	const passage = passage();
 
-	if (passage === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
+	if (passage() === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
 		if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
 			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of H-cup breasts.</span>`);
 			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
@@ -120,7 +119,7 @@ App.Desc.Player.boobs = function() {
 				r.push(`Your chest is covered in dense freckles.`);
 			}
 		}
-	} else if (passage === "Economics") {
+	} else if (passage() === "Economics") {
 		if (V.PC.career === "servant") {
 			if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
 				r.push(`You've gotten your dress let out to accommodate your huge bust.`);
diff --git a/src/player/desc/playerButt.js b/src/player/desc/playerButt.js
index 1a0eb2ab1cf8dd7d2e84b4ade78d56f2fa4f825c..003ffac3862a62272b239ca8f429755fbc985ca1 100644
--- a/src/player/desc/playerButt.js
+++ b/src/player/desc/playerButt.js
@@ -1,8 +1,7 @@
 App.Desc.Player.butt = function() {
 	const r = [];
-	const passage = passage();
 
-	if (passage === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
+	if (passage() === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
 		if (V.PC.butt >= 5) {
 			if (V.PC.buttImplant >= 1) {
 				r.push(`an <span class="orange">enormous, round, hard butt;</span> it is very obviously a pair of huge implants. It barely moves at all when you walk or fuck, is difficult to cram into your clothing, and you keep getting stuck in chairs, but you wouldn't have it any other way.`);
@@ -29,7 +28,7 @@ App.Desc.Player.butt = function() {
 		} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
 			r.push(`Your freckles are particularly dense across your lower back and upper butt.`);
 		}
-	} else if (passage === "Economics") {
+	} else if (passage() === "Economics") {
 		if (V.PC.career === "servant") {
 			if (V.PC.butt >= 5 && V.PC.balls >= 30) {
 				if (V.PC.buttImplant >= 1) {
diff --git a/src/player/desc/playerCrotch.js b/src/player/desc/playerCrotch.js
index 52315af16f4f4c26c70163d0f218feaceb4c8008..30d3893efd3b9119b3f893574f0160f942c4a96f 100644
--- a/src/player/desc/playerCrotch.js
+++ b/src/player/desc/playerCrotch.js
@@ -1,8 +1,7 @@
 App.Desc.Player.crotch = function() {
 	const r = [];
-	const passage = passage();
 
-	if (passage === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
+	if (passage() === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
 		r.push(`you have`);
 		if (V.PC.dick !== 0 && V.PC.vagina !== -1) {
 			r.push(`an <span class="orange">above average penis</span>`);